Unfortunately, one in five women confirm that they never feel sexy. It’s a sad statistic fueled by societal expectations and unachievable standards of attractiveness.
The truth of the matter is that sex appeal isn’t linked to external characteristics or a certain body type. It’s much more closely tied to self-perception, confidence and having that amazing glow men fall in love with.
Is it possible to feel sexy at all ages? Absolutely! Here are some of the best ways to accomplish the goal, especially if you believe that you’ve lost some of your foxiness along the way.
Learn to Appreciate Your Body
Take all of your clothes off and stand in front of a full-length mirror. Does the idea terrify you? It’s time to change that negative self-perception.
Examine your skin, your curves, the little imperfections and the things that you enjoy the most about yourself. Tell your body how powerful, amazing and feminine it is. Talking to your naked self in the mirror may seem like an exceptionally dumb idea but this can be quite empowering.
You see, the words you say out loud have transformative power.
Even if you don’t believe them at first, repeating the same mantra time and time again will help you internalize the message. And once this happens, you’ll start going through a powerful transformative journey connected to how you perceive yourself.
See Yourself through the Eyes of Your Lover
You know who find you sexy and irresistible? Your spouse, significant other or your lover. The person that shares your bed enjoys your body immensely. It’s time to start seeing yourself through their eyes.
Chances are that your partner sees you as a flawless being. They don’t pay attention to the stretch marks, the skin dimples or the fact that you’ve gained a bit of weight through the years. For them, you’re incredibly attractive and sexual.
Ask them to share what they feel and think during sex. Even a bit of dirty talk can do amazing things for your self-confidence.
Once you start working on your sexiness, try having a passionate encounter with the lights on. This is another potentially terrifying experience that can help you reclaim your sex appeal. Don’t worry about your lover seeing you and disliking something. Chances are that they’ll have the time of their life (and so will you).
Experiment with Your Sexuality
Are there aspects of your sexuality that you haven’t explored yet? If so, the time has come to dig underneath the surface and try something new.
Feeling sexy is very often connected to being sexually confident and satisfied.
Try some masturbation to discover new stuff you enjoy. Get yourself some sex toys for the purpose. Suction cup dildos are versatile and great for both beginners and advanced users. If you are not sure where to start, check out this guide from HotCherry.
If you have a certain fantasy or you’d like to try a bit of role-playing, let your partner know. Chances are that they’re looking forward to new opportunities and sexy experiments. Don’t be afraid of encouraging their own sexual openness. Clear communication leads to better sexual satisfaction and better sexual satisfaction leads to happiness and confidence.
Silence the Negative Voice in Your Head
We all have an inner critic in our head. For some people, this voice is louder and much more debilitating.
If your inner critic is telling you that you’re not sexy enough or good enough, you’ll have to find a way to cope with that negativity.
Psychologists recommend several approaches to get the job done. For a start, counter the negative voice with rational arguments. Chances are that the negative statements it makes are highly exaggerated. If you take a look at the actual situation, you’ll find out that the inner critic is blowing things out of proportion.
Next, come up with one positive statement for each negative one the inner voice makes. Ask yourself where these negative thoughts are coming from. Chances are that they’re not grounded in reality but rather – in personal insecurities. Addressing those in the form of positive affirmations will give you a lot of freedom to break free from the negativity and reclaim your feminine energy.
Dress Up, Flirt and Have Fun
Sexy is all about being frivolous and flirtatious.
This is why many younger women are described as incredibly hot while older ladies lose some of that appeal. They simply forget how to have fun, be coquettish and daring.
You can easily regain your mojo.
For a start, make an effort and dress up. Put some sexy lingerie on, even if you don’t have a date. Do it for yourself. Lace and silk will immediately make you feel like a sex goddess. Throw a little black dress on top and you’re good to go.
When in the club, strike up a conversation with a stranger. Enjoy an innocent flirt, even if you don’t want to take it anywhere. Flirting is all about having fun and feeling attractive. Seeing the response from the person involved will get you there and help you remember what feeling attractive and powerful is all about.
Forget about Societal Expectations
Erasing societal notions of beauty and sexiness from your head is the most difficult part of the journey.
At the same time, accomplishing that goal would be the most important step towards finding your freedom and confidence again.
Magazines, online media, movies and television set unrealistic expectations (especially when it comes to the appearance and sexuality of women). Understand the fact that nobody looks like popular celebrities. All women have imperfections. Confident women are the ones who have embraced those.
You are amazing just the way you are. There’s no need to transform your body, your skin, your femininity. If you believe in yourself, you’ll definitely find others who will believe in you. That inner confidence will shine through, making you more attractive than you would have ever believed possible.
Don’t push yourself too hard or beat yourself up if you don’t feel immediately sexy. Major changes take some time and that’s ok. Going on the journey itself is enough of a milestone to celebrate and to feel proud of.