I spent last weekend at home with friends and family- what a mistake! My family is the traditional American family, we eat hearty dinners, there are always plenty of snacks to go around, and dieting is a bad word.
If I hadn’t started modeling when I did, there’s no question that I would have been a size 6 (and would have been perfectly fine with that).
However, my agent scouted me before that could happen, and with one quick test of my wrist, looked at me and said:
“You are going on a diet.”
Not wanting to argue with an expert, I did exactly what he said, and began eating carefully. I have been able to maintain my pre-teen figure for the last four years. But lately, as my younger brother and sister begin to pass the point of no return, my friends and family are always asking me why I haven’t gotten bigger.
I try to tell them that my job requires that I stay a certain size, but my mom simply shakes her head and says:
“Uh, uh… it’s not healthy- you’re too thin.”
Even though my agent hired a nutritionist to make sure I was eating the right foods, my mother is convinced I am hurting myself.
It doesn’t help that every year, it gets harder and harder to fight my genes. I feel like I am constantly doing squats.
Yesterday, my agent texted me at 6am to ask me what measurement my hips were because the last client was concerned I wouldn’t fit their wardrobe.
I replied: “35.”
Within 30 seconds, my phone buzzed back with, “Too fat. Get it to 34, you have 2 weeks.”
We play this game at least once a month.
So it is particularly difficult when I go home and my friends and family are literally trying to force food down my throat. Even though I explain how important it is to maintain my size, they either roll their eyes, ignore me or attempt to convince me that I need counseling.
Yet, it was these same people who pushed me into modeling in the first place. (Not that they had to do much pushing….)
So, I’m constantly caught between my agent and my family; trying to figure out what size I can comfortably (and safely) be. It’s not the easiest thing (to say the least).
With every squat I tell myself: “You are lucky to have this opportunity, don’t let a little model fat keep you away from it.” However, with every day I start to wonder if it is worth it.