Editor's Rating

Can You Get Back With Your Ex?

There are many reasons why people break up. Sometimes the break up is final, and there’s no way for these two to get back together. Other times couples end their relationship for temporary reasons; for example, if either of them wasn’t ready for commitment at that time, or one of them had to move to another town or country. The question many of us think about is whether we’ll ever get back with a particular ex or not.

Finding the answer to this question requires some deep thinking and weighing things down. To help you make a more thoughtful decision about whether you should invest your energy and emotions into getting back together with your ex or not, we’re sharing with you some tips and questions to ask yourself to save yourself time, effort, and heartache. Read on and make the right decision.

How Much Time Has Passed Since You Broke up

It’s completely normal to feel a massive urge to get back together with your ex if you just broke up. If this is your particular case, you may need to step back and give yourself time to think this through. Getting over a failed relationship takes time, and one of the most common immediate reactions is to feel abandoned and vulnerable, which leads to wanting to get back together with them; don’t let yourself go and try to hold yourself together enough to think things through; why did you break up in the first place?

In case it’s been a long time, then maybe you both have grown as individuals and your perspective on relationships has changed. First, you need to assess the whole relationship and figure out whether the reason you decided it was best to end it is still a deal-breaker or not anymore. Make sure you also have a serious conversation with your ex before you decide to give the relationship another try and see how you both have evolved since you’ve broken up.

If You Never Really Wanted It to End

It happens that couples may fight and things escalate, so they end breaking up on a whim when they never really wanted to do that in the first place. If this is the case, then your relationship definitely deserves a chance, after all, you never really meant to end things. Sometimes either of the parties can feel too proud to take that first step. There are some hints that show your ex really wants to get back together with you, though, so you may get encouraged to take the initiative. After reviewing various personal stories about individuals and their exes’ behaviors, relationship coaches at Coaching Online analyzed many of these cases to help these people realize their exes are still into them. One of the most common signs your ex really wants to get back together but is too proud to say it is if you run into them more often than you ever did before. Another sign is if they keep sending you texts “by mistake”. 

The Reason the Relationship Ended

There are many reasons that may seem like a big deal at the time you end things, but after some time has passed, you may find that you look at things differently. Maybe back then, you couldn’t tolerate certain behaviors that now seem perfectly normal. There are a few things though that you should never be ok with. One of the red lines in any relationship is if your ex was abusive, whether verbally, physically, or emotionally. Abusive people never change, so if they pretend to have changed, don’t believe it. Always weigh the reasons carefully, so you don’t end up in heartbreak.

Talk to the People You Trust

Ask the people in your close circle about their opinion on you getting back with your ex. Listen to what they have to say, and see whether it resonates with you or not. Always keep an open mind about what they’re telling you because at the end of the day they care about your happiness and want what’s best for you. If they’re being overprotective, that’s normal, and it can actually be quite beneficial to help you make the final decision. At the end of the day the final word is yours, and they will support whatever your decision is, so keep their concerns in mind.

There are so many things to consider when making the decision of giving a past relationship another chance. It works sometimes, especially if you’ve dated back when you were still young, but as you mature you may realize that both of you are actually a good match. Sometimes you just have some feelings for your ex that may always be there, but they’re not always enough reason to get in the relationship again. Communicate with your ex, be extremely clear and honest with each other, because this is the key for any kind of relationship to work.