In a world that has gotten so sensitive about every little thing and major news stories are made out of even the most off handed of comments, I find myself questioning the restrictions that I put on myself and the things I put on social media in the hope of not offending anyone. But then I wonder, why? Why am I censoring myself when I know that I’m not acting like anything other than the compassionate, confident and kind person that I am?
If the title of this post didn’t give it away, I’m referring to this feeling that sits in the pit of my stomach, making me hesitate every time I go to post a gym selfie or bikini pic on Instagram. I worry what will people think of me being so openly proud of and showing off my slim, toned figure. Will I look like one of ‘those girls’ in a time when curves and body positivity has become such a popular topic? Is it insensitive for me to post it or do I look like an idiot who doesn’t have their priorities straight because I follow a strict diet and go hard-core in the gym for two hours every day just to stay skinny?
I worry that people won’t understand that I look this way because I enjoy eating healthily, I feel good when I work out and at the end of the day, no matter what society says about how damaging the idea of a size 6 model being ‘aspirational’ it is my job to look this way.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for embracing diversity. I love curves, I think they’re sexy as hell and they belong on the catwalk but it’s just not me. I’m comfortable in my skin being a size 6 and don’t think I should be made to feel less of myself because I don’t fit into this new mould created by social change.
When I do pose in my bikini, I’m not sitting their thinking I can only do this because I’m skinny. I don’t think that curvy, plus-size or even petite girls with a little extra weight around their stomachs can’t pose like this because they don’t look like me. I love that I have abs and I love how my butt looks in a high cut bikini bottom and love catching it on film because I’m honest with myself in knowing that I won’t always have this body.
When I get asked about being a role model and setting unrealistic standards for young women because I am so thin, my answer is always quite simple; working hard to better yourself and create a body for yourself that you can truly be proud of, doesn’t make you a bad person for not just accepting and embracing the way you are. So do I think it’s wrong to be proud of my thin figure? Absolutely not. It’s not wrong for anybody, no matter what shape or size, to be proud of their figure. Can we just quit it with this ‘reverse body shaming’ already and just move on to the next? Thanks.