By an anonymous model

This was when I was navigating one of my first loves. We had just met. It was a messy, confusing, all consuming, head fuck of a relationship, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. I think this is how we learn about ourselves. Different people uncover different things in us, and it’s all part of the journey.


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Dear: ( Do I secretly want him to read this?)

I mean, if it’s a joke, let me know so I don’t fall for you, because I can see it happening. You are the perfect guy to break my heart. You think I don’t get as jealous as I let on, but it drives me up the wall knowing that I probably can’t trust you unless you adore me, and I don’t see that. I want someone to want me and unless you are hiding it really well I just think it might not be there. The reason I stuck around? I see this one side of you that’s so pure so scared and you mask it with ignorance and cocaine. It’s buried in your lyrics and those fleeting gestures you brush off because in the end you are just the same in that you don’t want to be hurt again and you know that if you let your guard down too much theres a chance it could go wrong again. It’s not the girls you choose, it’s the mind set you have when you approach a new situation. As for me? I need to find out how to ask you where I stand and if I should hold out for you/ something and get over