Losing a romantic partner can be a devastating experience, especially if you’d been together for years. When experiencing heartbreak, the only advice you probably get is to move on. But that’s not always the only solution to how you’re feeling. It’s important to assess whether or not your ex-partner is a good fit for you. Whether you’re compatible enough to give your relationship another shot. If you come to the conclusion that the two of you could have a promising relationship, nothing should stop you from pursuing another shot. Without further ado, here are 6 ways to convince your ex that you’re worth giving another shot.
Keep in Touch
Ghosting your ex and then suddenly reappearing in their lives whenever it’s convenient for you is certainly not how you get them back. If you haven’t been communicating, you need to start by approaching them and seeing how they’ve been doing. Don’t ask them if they’ve moved on or if they’ve found another partner; always test the waters first by casually conversing with them and asking how they have been. If they start opening up to you, you can gradually do the same and ask them more personal questions.
If the reason why your ex decided to walk away was that you hurt their feelings and denied it, it’s time to own up to your mistakes. No one wants to hear your apology if your actions don’t change. Taking accountability for the way you hurt your ex-partner is a good first step to earning their trust. According to the relationship consultants at getherbackguide.com, women are likely to walk away from their partners when they stop trusting them, but that doesn’t mean that they have fallen out of love. In fact, women tend to be very forgiving with their partners when they take accountability for their actions and prove that they can change.
Don’t just talk to your ex via text messages. Texts can be dry and can easily be misinterpreted. Ask your ex if you can meet up to tie up loose ends and talk about why your relationship came to an end. Don’t mislead your ex or tell them that you want to meet up for closure, but don’t disclose why you want to stay in touch until you meet them in person, either. Remember that you’re taking them somewhere to talk in private; you’re not trying to impress them with a fancy dinner, so make sure to keep it simple, and pick somewhere quiet.
Rehearse Your Speech
No, you don’t have to write your speech on flashcards or try to memorize it word-for-word, but it helps to jot down all the points you want to talk about so you don’t lose track of why you decided to meet up with your ex in the first place. If you’re apologizing for something you did, being honest about something your ex did that hurt you, or bringing up incompatibility issues that you think can be worked around, write it all down and think about what exactly you want to say. Make sure to be direct and empathetic. Don’t blame your ex for how things ended and don’t be overly apologetic either. You don’t want to seem desperate, and you should never directly or indirectly throw the blame on your ex.
Listen to Your Ex
Now that you’ve finally met up with them, you should always give them the space to talk about how they feel. You’re not meeting up just for you to talk; your ex deserves a chance to get things off their chest as well. If you have a notorious history of not being very good at listening, perhaps this is what you need to work on, and this is your tie to prove to your ex that you can change. Listening isn’t just allowing the other party to talk, it’s paying attention to how they feel and figuring out how you can be there for them.
Make Promises You Can Keep
When it’s finally time to bring up giving your relationship another shot, you don’t want the suggestion to sound casual. Make promises you know you can keep. Avoid doing anything in the past that got in the way of your relationship. If you were flirtatious with others, prove that you won’t cross boundaries again. Promise that you will start listening to them if you weren’t present emotionally. If you’re not sure what got in the way, but you both want to try to work it out, you can consult a relationship therapist and pick up where you left off.
You should never try to rekindle a relationship that hindered your personal growth or failed to align with your morals and goals. However, some promising bonds can be broken as a result of misunderstandings or honest mistakes. Before you talk to your ex about giving your relationship another shot, sit with your feelings. Make sure that this is what you really want or if it’s best to move on.